


With Or Without You

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 14:22:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6288073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place in the '90s. Gavin calls Peter to reconnect. This will make you feel bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Or Without You

Gavin very often thought about calling Peter. Especially when he was drunk and especially late at night. Peter’s number was etched into his brain and there were times when he’d just pace around, reciting it to himself. 

It was only when he heard the familiar sound of Peter’s mom’s voice that it hit him that the number he had memorized was from when Peter still lived with his parents. 

“Kathy,” he said. “Hi...hi.”

“Who is this?” she asked with alarm.

“It’s Gavin,” he said.

Her tone changed and she said, “Oh, hi, sweetie.” He smiled a little. He’d forgotten how much Peter’s mom had liked him. “Is everything okay?” she asked with alarm. “You’re not in the hospital or in jail or something, are you?”

He remembered how late it was. “No, I’m… I’m in Beijing. I’m so sorry. I completely forgot about the time difference,” he said.

“That’s so exciting!” she said. “Why are you calling?”

“Do you have Peter’s most current number? I, um… I guess I misplaced it,” he said. “Sorry again to bother you.”

“That’s alright, hon,” she said. She recited the number and Gavin felt his heart flutter when it started with a local area code. 

 

Gavin wasn’t surprised when the answering machine picked up. Peter wasn’t big on phone calls and also it was the middle of the night. “It’s Gavin,” he said. 

He had no idea what to follow that up with, but fortunately for him, before he had to think of anything else to say, Peter picked up the phone. “Hello,” he said.

After a long silence, Gavin said, “I was just, uh, thinking about you…”

“I recently saw a TV show where they talked about the concept of the late night booty call,” Peter told him. 

He said it as a statement, but Gavin understood that it was a question. “Yes,” he said. “Yeah.” 

“What is your current address?” Peter asked him.

Gavin grinned and gave him his address.

 

Gavin paced around, reciting a speech to himself about how great he’d been doing without Peter. He let out a breath when he heard a knock. 

He opened the door and said, “Hello, Pete.” He managed to look pretty calm but his heart was racing. “How are you doing?” he asked. 

“I’m well,” Peter said as he walked in. “You look good.” 

Peter checked out Gavin’s ass in what he thought was a subtle way. Gavin smiled a little and stepped close to him. Peter started kissing him hard. Gavin excitedly grabbed Peter’s hand and led him up to the bedroom. Peter sat down on the bed and pulled Gavin down into his lap. He slid his hands into Gavin’s back pockets as he started kissing him again.

After a minute, Gavin pulled away so he could grin at Peter. “I’m so happy,” he told him. “All this time I was so worried you were mad at me.”

Peter tilted his head and blinked. Gavin leaned in to start kissing him again, but Peter pushed him away.

“I am mad at you,” he said flatly. “I thought that was simply understood. I never stopped being angry with you.” 

Gavin stared at him and said, “You came over here as soon as I called.”

“For sex, yes,” Peter said. When Gavin just kept staring at him with disbelief, Peter said, “I didn’t mean to imply anything about my non-sexual feelings for you by coming over. I apologize for the miscommunication.” 

“You apologize for the miscommunication? You mean for not telling me that you still hate me but you want to use me for sex?” 

Peter slowly pulled his hands out of Gavin’s back pockets and pushed him off his lap. “I misread the situation. If you’re feeling used, we should talk.” 

They sat in silence for a while before Gavin said, “I just want you to forgive me so we can move on. Start over.”

“And why would I do that?” Peter asked. When he saw Gavin’s expression, he said, “I didn’t mean that to be cruel. I just meant that nothing has changed, so I don’t see why my feelings would be any different.”

“What do you mean nothing has changed? A long fucking time has passed. Who holds a grudge like that? I’m a good person. Just forgive me.” 

“Traditionally, when people ask for that kind of thing, there’s some sort of apology or acknowledgment of how much they hurt the other person.” 

Gavin glared and asked. “Oh, I see. Of course. You’ll never forgive me until I admit that I’m the bad guy and you were right about everything.”

Peter looked down at his lap sadly. “That’s not… Perhaps I’m communicating poorly. I just want to feel like you understand how much you hurt me.” 

“You hurt me too, you know!” Gavin said angrily. “And if I did do anything wrong, it’s probably because I wasn’t thinking clearly because I was a little fucking distracted by the fact that I told you I love you and you never said it back. That hurts more than anything I ever did to you.” 

“I couldn’t make myself love you just to spare your feelings,” Peter sad.

“Well, maybe you should’ve tried harder!” Gavin said.

“It’s not as though I wasn’t open to it,” Peter said. “I think I could have fallen in love with you eventually if your actions had been different.” 

“Oh, fuck you,” Gavin said. “Do you know what a shitty thing to say that is? I’m supposed to be able to anticipate everything you want me to do like a mindreader and skirt around your delicate feelings to be a decent human being?”

“To be a decent human being? I don’t know. To be someone I’m in love with? Yes. Maybe. Falling in love with someone isn’t a small thing,” he said.

“It’s not like you’d know anything about it,” Gavin said. 

“This was a bad idea,” Peter said. When he started to leave, Gavin stood up and followed Peter. 

“No, no,” he said. “Don’t go.” 

“I don’t think I can give you what you want,” Peter said.

“Yes, you can,” Gavin said, grabbing his hand. “I want to get fucked.” Peter turned with unmistakable interest. “I do. I want to get fucked. That’s why I called you. I was horny so I called you.” 

Peter uncertainly said, “It doesn’t seem like it. It seems like you’re emotional and earlier you said that you felt used…”

“Forget that. I don’t know why I said that.” He stepped closer to Peter and said, “I miss your dick, Pete. I miss it so much. Please give it to me. Please.” He heard Peter groan slightly and smiled. He’d forgotten just how much Peter liked it when he begged. He stepped closer and said in his ear, “Please give me your dick.”

“If you’re sure you want that,” Peter said.

“I do,” Gavin said. He kissed Peter hard then got down on his knees. 

When Peter took his dick out, Gavin started sucking it hard. 

“Mmm,” Peter said, petting Gavin’s hair. Gavin bobbed his head hard. He was sure Peter would feel better after sex. Everyone feels better after sex, right? Peter would feel affectionate and snuggle up to Gavin and tell him their history really wasn’t that bad now that all the good memories were coming back. And he’d see that Gavin was a good person. 

“Good boy,” Peter said breathily. 

“Mm!” Gavin said at the praise. He bobbed his head and sucked his cheeks in hard. 

When he felt Peter’s hand on his forehead, he kept sucking, but when Peter pushed on his forehead harder, he pulled his head away. “What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“If you want to get fucked, you should stop now,” Peter told him. 

Gavin nodded and quickly undressed and got on all fours, sticking his ass up with more eagerness than he’d intended. 

Peter undressed the rest of the way, then got behind him and ran his hands over Gavin. “You’re so sexy,” he told him. He started lightly playing with Gavin’s asshole with one finger. Gavin whined softly. “Am I hurting you, angel?” 

“No, no, it’s perfect,” Gavin told him, grinning at the familiar pet name. 

Peter pulled a condom and a small bottle of lubricant out of his jacket pocket. Gavin furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t like the idea that Peter was getting so much action that he just carried that stuff around at all, but he told himself it was just because he knew he was seeing Gavin.

Once Peter had the condom on, he started gently fucking Gavin. Peter moaned and said, “That feels so good.”

Gavin tightened up and pushed back against Peter hard. “Yeah? You like that?” 

“Mmhmm,” Peter said, putting his hands on Gavin’s hips and pushing deep into him. “You’re such a good boy.” 

Gavin moaned and rocked his hips back hard against Peter. “Say it again,” he said aggressively.

“You’re such a good boy.” Peter moaned and pushed hard into Gavin one more time before he came. 

Gavin nuzzled against Peter happily. Peter kissed him lovingly as he stroked his cock. 

“Who’s my good boy?” Peter asked him.

“I am!” Gavin said eagerly.

“Yeah, you are.” Peter kissed down his neck. “My God, you’re so sexy.”

Gavin groaned and came. Peter wiped up the come with his hand and held it in front of Gavin’s mouth. Gavin happily lapped it all up. 

Peter kissed Gavin’s forehead and then pulled him close. 

“You’re not leaving?” Gavin asked, surprised and happy.

“I remember how much you like being held afterwards,” Peter told him. 

Gavin nuzzled against him lovingly and closed his eyes.

 

When Gavin opened his eyes, he saw Peter looking down at him. He smiled, remembering how freaked out he’d been the first time he’d caught Peter watching him sleep. It hadn’t taken long for him to start to love it. “Morning,” he said.

“Morning,” Peter said. 

Gavin started stroking Peter, who grinned at the immediate attention. Once he started getting hard, Gavin started sucking his cock. “Mmmm, yeah. That’s so perfect,” Peter said, petting Gavin’s hair. 

Gavin bobbed his head happily until Peter said, “I’m going to come, baby.” Gavin pulled away and jerked Peter off until he came on Gavin’s chest.

“Come on, let’s shower,” he said. 

 

“This is a very nice shower,” Peter observed as he stood behind Gavin, washing himself. 

“Thank you. I’m doing really well without you,” Gavin said, his voice coming out louder than he’d intended.

“Good. That’s very good for you,” Peter said. 

Gavin could hear a tension coming back into Peter’s voice. He pushed his ass back a little to try to distract him. It worked and he felt Peter start lightly fingering his asshole. Gavin let out a happy little hum and said, “You missed my asshole, didn’t you?”

 

“Of course I did,” Peter said.

Gavin turned around and grinned as he said, “My asshole missed your tongue.” That was all he had to say for Peter to drop to his knees. He moaned happily as Peter licked his asshole hard. 

Peter reached his hand up to jerk Gavin off while he rimmed him. Gavin moaned happily, arching his back as he came. 

 

When they were dressed and showered, Gavin grabbed a couple of bagels from the kitchen. He toasted his and put butter on it and brought Peter his untoasted and completely plain, the way he liked it.

“Thank you,” Peter said. 

They ate in silence for a while before Gavin said, “You know, Pete, I’ve grown a lot. I really am a good person now.”

“It’s entirely possible,” Peter said. “I really don’t know you anymore.”

Gavin tried to keep his voice calm as he said, “So, I think it’s a little bit ridiculous for you to still be upset about things that happened when we were stupid kids. I mean, everyone messes up.”

Peter’s mouth tightened and he made a noncommittal noise. 

“So, what do you say? Start over and get to know each other as the mature, adults we are now?” 

Peter made an uncomfortable noise.

“How fucking long are you going to hate me?” Gavin snapped.

“I don’t hate you,” Peter told him. “I’m terrified of you.”

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“You seem to genuinely not understand why what you did hurt me so much or even want to understand,” Peter said. “Is what you did unforgivable? No. Not necessarily. But, it is legitimately scary that you don’t seem to care at all how much I was hurt.”

“I care! Do I seem like I don’t fucking care? I’m losing my mind over it!”

“You care that I’m mad at you,” Peter said. “That’s not the same thing as genuine remorse.” 

“I’m sorry you got upset. I didn’t think you would because I thought you’d be able to see why everything I did was completely reasonable,” Gavin said. “Okay?” 

“This was a bad idea,” Peter said. “I’m just so attracted to you and I made a mistake.” Peter stood up and said, “Goodbye, Gavin.” 

Gavin glared at him and said, “You know, you should be begging me to take you back. You really think anyone will ever love you again? You’re hardly an easy person to get along with.” 

“Okay,” Peter said. “Goodbye.” He walked out.


End file.
